Visitors Elephant Jokes


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If you like elephant jokes we have more in our collection. More Elephant Jokes


Why are elephants big and grey?
Because if they were small and white they'd be asprins.
What has got 4 legs and a trunk?
A mouse going on holiday!
What's red and white on the outside and gray and white on the inside?
A can of Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.
What's red and white on the outside and gray and green on the inside?
A very, very old can of Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.
Why do elephants have trunks?
They'd look pretty stupid with glove compartments.
Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.
What do you do if you are walking backwards and bump into an elephant?
Say "Excuse me"!
Why do elephants lie on their backs at 5:00 in the jungle?
To trip low flying cannaries
Why did the elephant have a yellow spot on its butt?
He wasn't laying down!
Why do elephants paint themselves green?
So they can sneak across pool tables
Why are elephants big and grey
Well if they were small and white they'd be asprins!

From: The 4th grade class at Stribling Elementary in Burleson Texas !
What do you get when you cross a elephant and a mouse?
A bad combination!
What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
An elephants shadow!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken, duck, pig ..etc.... where all to tired of crossing the road!
What do you get when you cross a elephant with a cat?
A elecat
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Giant holes across Australia!!
What can you put in a elephant to make it weigh more?
Almost anything!

Here's a few more elephant jokes from DK in the USA! Email your comments direct to him!

How do you hide an elephant in a box of M&Ms (Smarties)?
Paint his toenails all different colors!
How do you hide an elephant in a Blueberry Bush?
Paint his toenails blue!
What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree?
A crow with a machine gun!
How many elephants can you get in a Volkswagen?
Two in the front and two in the back, silly!
Why are elephants knee's wrinkled?
From playing marbles!

How did the crow joke get in their? - ed!


NB mini = compact car!

How do you get 4 elephants in a mini?
2 in the front and 2 in the back.
What's harder than getting 4 elephants in a mini?
Getting 4 pregnant elephants in a mini.
What's harder than getting 4 pregnant elephants in a mini?
Getting 4 elephants pregnant in a mini!
What is gray inside and clear outside?
An elephant in a baggie!

From HA in Virginia.

Why do elephants have pink bellies?
From flying low over rose bushes!
Why do ducks have flat feet?
From stamping out forest fires!
Why do elephants have flat feet?
From stamping out flaming ducks!

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
"Here come the elephants!
What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill?
"Here come the elephants!
What did Tarzan and Jane say when they saw the elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on?
Nothing, they didn't recognize them.

An anonymous visitor submission! And in a similar vein from Steven?

  • Question: What did Tarzan say when he say a team of running elephants running at him?
  • Answer: Look out here comes a team of running elephants, and their coming this way!

And two more from DC in New Zealand:

Why do Elephants have Big Ears?
Because Noddy didn't pay the ransom!!
Why do elephants have wrinkly knees?
So they can bend down and tie their shoelaces.

From Cathy in London England

Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
So they can float upside down in custard
How do you get four giraffes into a mini?
You can't its full up with elephants
How do you know when an elephants been in your fridge?
By the footprints on the butter
How do you know when there's an elephant in your bed
By the E embroidered on its pyjamas
What do you do when a herd of elephants is running toward you?
Make a Trunk Call and reverse the charges

Why is it dangerous to walk through the jungle between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
That's when elephants are jumping out of trees.
Why are Pygmies so small ?
They tried to walk through the jungle between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
Because they jump out of trees.

From CBC!

What happens when a elephant sits on you?
You get De-Pressed!
What happens when he sits on you again?
You get Re-pressed

Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?
So it can hide in cherry trees.
How come you never see an elephant in a cherry tree?
Because it works!!!
How did the elephant get up in to the cherry tree?
Parachuted of course!

From CG


Question : What is gray, has four legs and a trunk?
Answer: An elephant.
Question : What ISN'T gray, and has no legs and no trunk?
Answer: No elephants.
Question : Where do you find an elephant with no legs?
Answer: Right where you left it.

Question : Why do elephants wear dark glasses?
Answer: For camouflage.
Question : Have you ever seen an elephant with dark glasses?
Answer: No? Just shows how good it works.

What do you do if you're eaten by an Elephant?
Run around till you're pooped!
What do you do if an elephant breaks his toe?
Call a toe truck!
What do you call the brown stuff between an elephants toes?
Natives

From Catherine in Australia!

How do you know if there's an elephant in the fridge?
There are footprints in the butter.
How do you know if there are two elephants in the fridge?
There are two sets of footprints in the butter.
How do you know if there are three elephants in the fridge?
There are three sets of footprints in the butter.
How do you know if there are four elephants in the fridge?
There is a mini parked outside.
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence.
Recipe For Elephant Stew
Ingredients
1 elephant medium size
2 rabbits (optional)
brown gravy
salt & pepper to taste
Instructions
Cut elephant into bite sized pieces. This should take about two months. Add enough gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene for about 4 weeks at 450 degrees.
This will serve about 3000 people.
If more are expected, add two rabbits, but only if necessary, as most people don't like hare in their stew.

Thanks to all our contributors!


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