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If you like these you'll find more Doctor jokes in our collection! More Doctor Jokes

Here's four more Doctor Doctor jokes from Dave in England; email him with your comments! (not us)!!

Doctor, Doctor
I feel like a delayed hallucination
I'll see you in a minute, then!
Doctor, Doctor
I feel like a unkempt Nun
My my, that's a dirty habit!
Doctor, Doctor
I feel like a chair thief
Please take a seat, then!
Doctor, Doctor
I feel like an electric fan
Well blow me!
Doctor Doctor
I feel like biscuits!
What, you mean those square ones?
The ones you put butter on?
Oh, You're Crackers!

A patient had been complaining about hearing a ringing sound for years. One day he came to his doctor and said, "Doctor, there is good news and bad news. The good news is that I don't hear the ringing sound any more!"

"And what's the bad news?", asked the doctor.

"Now I hear the busy signal!

Adapted from a submitted joke by AA!

Doctor, Doctor
I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm not allowed up on the couch!

Did you hear about the man who went to his Doctor and said "Doctor I think I am a jelly baby"? The doctor bit his head off.

Doctor, Doctor
Have you got something for a bad headache?
Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.

Adapted from a submitted joke from BD!

And one from PR in Canada (email address withheld).

Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?

And from Zappa!

Doctor, Doctor
When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?
You have a broken finger!
Doctor, Doctor
I'm in a dreadful hurry!
Be patient!
Doctor, Doctor
Everyone keeps ignoring me?
Next please?
Doctor, Doctor
This week I think I'm a wigman and last week I was a tee-pee?
Your two tents?

A man walks into the doctors office. He has a huge frog on his head!
The doctor asks, "What seems to be the problem?"
The frog says, "I have this huge wart on my butt, that I can't get rid of!!!"

Think you can do better? Sure you can! Why not email your joke for inclusion in our visitors section to us at Please email jokes with your name and state or country for publication. Please let us have you name, address and telephone number (not for publication) and your email address indicating if you would like us to publish it with your joke!

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