Doctor, Doctor Jokes
If there aren't enough for you here try 
our visitors suggestions!
- Doctor, Doctor
- I can't stop stealing things
- Take these pills for a week; if that doesn't work I'll have a
color TV!
- Doctor, Doctor
- What can I do? I think I'm a pair of curtains?
- Pull yourself together man!
- Doctor, Doctor
- I think I'm a bridge?
- What's come over you?
- Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.
- Doctor, Doctor
- I think I'm god?
- How did that start?
- In the beginning there was darkness......
- Doctor, Doctor
- Every bone in my body aches!
- Just be glad you aren't a herring!
- Doctor, Doctor
- Can I have second opinion?
- Of course, come back tomorrow!
- Doctor, Doctor
- I think I've broken my neck?
- Don't worry - keep your chin up!
- Doctor Doctor
- My daughter has just swallowed my pen - what shall I do?
- Use a pencil!
- Doctor Doctor
- What can I do? Everyone thinks I'm a liar?
- I find that very hard to believe!
- Doctor, Doctor
- I feel like a pack of cards?
- I'll deal with you later!
- Doctor, Doctor
- You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!
- Do you drink a lot?
- Not really - I spill most of it!
- Doctor, Doctor
- I feel like a spoon?
- Sit still and don't stir!
- Doctor, Doctor
- Every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this stabbing pain in my
eye!
- I suggest you take the spoon out!
- Doctor, Doctor
- My irregular heartbeat is really frightening me.
- Don't worry - we'll soon put a stop to it!
- Doctor, Doctor
- Please help me. I think I'm invisible
- Next Please!
- Doctor, Doctor
- I've just swallowed my mouth organ
- Well look on the bright side, at least you weren't playing a
grand piano!
- Doctor, Doctor
- I think I'm a bell?
- Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
- Doctor, Doctor
- I think I'm a cat?
- How long has this been going on?
- Oh, since I was a kitten I guess!
- Doctor, Doctor
- I've got insomnia
- Just sit on the edge of the bed. You'll soon drop off!
- Doctor, Doctor
- Is there anything wrong with my heart?
- After a thorough examination I can confidently say it will last
as long as you do!!
- Doctor, Doctor
- I've got wind! Can you give me something?
- Yes - here's a kite!
- Doctor Doctor
- I'm not well - can you give me something to make me better?
- Take 2 teaspoons of this after every meal?
- But Doctor, I've only got one teaspoon?
- Doctor to Dumb Blonde
- Well Miss, I've discovered your problem - you are pregnant!
- Oh! Is it mine?
Think you can do better? Sure you can! Why not email your joke for
inclusion in our visitors section to us at
jokes@makeemlaugh.com. Please
email jokes with your name and state or country for publication. Please
let us have you name, address and telephone number (not for publication)
and your email address indicating if you would like us to publish it with
your joke!
