We gave in - owing to popular Demand - "Blonde Jokes"
We have even more Blonde jokes in our
visitor's Blonde Jokes Page. Why are they so popular??
- There was a typical blonde named Suzy. She had long blonde hair, blue
eyes and she was totally sick of all the blonde jokes; so one day she
decided to get a make-over. She cut and dyed her hair and dyed her
eyelashes. And to complete the feel good factor she went out and bought a
brand new convertible.
- The next day she went driving down a country road and came across a
herd of sheep blocking the road. She called the shepherd over.
- "Hey, That's a real nice flock of sheep," she said.
- "Well, thank you, miss" said the herder.
- "I have a proposition for you," said Suzy. "If I can
guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?"
- "Why, Sure," said the herder, convinced no one could guess
- So Suzy sat up and looked at the herd for a few seconds, then
- "Wow!" said the herder. "Incredible. That's exactly
right. Go ahead and pick out any sheep you want to take home.". So
Suzy went and picked one out and put it in her car.
- The herder leaned over the convertible and said, "Okay, now I
have a proposition for you."
- "What is it?" queried Suzy.
- "Well," said the herder, "If I can guess the real
colour of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
- Two blondes are walking along the street when they see a mirror lying
in the street. The first one picks it up and looks in it.
- "That face looks familiar", she says
- The second one grabs the mirror and looks at it.
- "Of course it is, you idiot, it's me!"
- Two blondes walk into a building. You would have thought one of them would have seen it?
- A blonde is talking to her friend. "I got a compliment on my driving today. I came back to my car and someone had put a note on it saying Parking Fine. So that was nice".
A blonde has always wanted to go ice fishing.
She’d read many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary “tools” together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.” Startled the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino and began to cut another.
Again from the heavens, the voice bellowed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.” The blonde, now quite worried, moved down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole.
The voice came once more, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”
She stopped, looked skyward and said, “Is that you Lord?”
The voice replied, “No … this is the Ice-Rink Manager…
- Three blondes walked into this bar and one said, "Beer all
- And so they toasted "Here's to 51 days"!
- So the bartender asks, "Hey, what are you guys celebrating?"
- To which one replied, "Well, the puzzle box said 2-3 years, and
we finished it in 51 days!
- How do you drive a blonde insane?
- Put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner!!
- How do you get a blonde to marry you?
- Tell her that she is pregnant.
- What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you??
- Pull the pin out and throw it back.
- Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M company??
- She counted all the 'M's and threw away all the 'W's.
- Why did the blonde look at the frozen carton of orange juice for
- It said 'concentrate'.
- How do you keep a Blonde amused for hours?
- Write "turn over" on both sides of a sheet of paper!
- Why was the Blonde up on the roof?
- Someone said "The drinks are on the house!".
- What do you you call 10 Blondes in a circle?
- A Dope Ring!
- A blonde and a brunette were walking down the street, and the
brunette says, "Oh, look at that poor dead bird".
- The blonde looks up, "Where"?!?
And there's more....
- What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
- A thought.
- What does a blonde do when she looks in the mirror each morning?
- Introduce herself.
- Why do blondes stick their heads out of car windows?
- To get a refill.
- Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
- They break the bottles when they put them in the typewriter.
- Why do blondes always have at least one brunette with them?
- To interpret!
- What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
- What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
- Artificial Intelligence.
- What do you call a smart blonde?
- A golden retriever
- Why do blondes fail driving test?
- Every time the car stops they jump in the back seat!
- Why did the 3 blondes drown in the back of a pick up?
- They couldn't open the tail gate!
- Why is it OK for a Blonde to catch a cold?
- They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out!
- Why did the Blonde move house?
- She heard that 90% of accidents occur near the home!
- Why did the Blonde steal a police car?
- She saw 911 on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
- Why did the Blonde keep a wire coat hanger in her car?
- In case she locked the keys in!
- Why is a Blonde like a beer bottle?
- Because they are both empty from the neck up!
More Jokes on Blondes? - see out "Hair"
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