Year 2000 Statement

We know that many of you are worried about the so called millennium bug but we would like to re assure you that Make 'em Laugh is well prepared and on course for the year 2000. Our YtoK policy has been fully completed and I though that we should reproduce the memo from our head of technology to show you all we are ready.


Memorandum

To: Mel Gibbon; Company President

From: Nigel (IT) Witt; Senior Technology Officer

Subject: Y2K bug fix request

Date: April 1, 1999

Disclaimer subject to the Year 2000 Information and Readiness Disclosure Act (Public Law 105-271)

I am delighted to be able to tell you that our staff have finally completed the 18 months of work on Y2K in time and on budget. We have had 13.3 men spend 20.8 man years of effort on this problem. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system totalling over 1,000,000 separate items. We have analyzed all databases, spreadsheets, text files and data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all the data to reflect the Y2K change as you requested.

We are very proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the new standards requested. The dates produced by our systems now read as follows:

Months:

Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December

As well as Daks:

Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak

On out own initiative we have also altered Kesterdak, Todak and Tomorrow as well as Kear; Week had already been corrected!

I trust that this is entirely satisfactory because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem has made any sense to the team or to myself? But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is always glad to help in any way possible. By the way, what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?

We'll await your direction.

N. I. T. Witt


Jester Icon

Jokes Policy Jokes Index Index