Waiter and Restaurant Jokes
Our first batch of jokes are the Diner complaining to the waiter.......
- Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!
- Don't worry, Sir, - it's not that hot!
- I don't like all the flies here!
- Well show me which ones you don't like and I'll swat them for you.
- This egg is bad
- Well, its not my fault - I just laid the table!
- What's your thumb doing on my steak!
- I didn't want it to fall on the floor again, Sir!
- Waiter, I can't eat this terrible food.
- Well its no good complaining to me, I won't eat it either.
- Will my hamburger be long
- No sir, it will be round!
- Is the salmon on the menu wild?
- No sir, but I could easily upset it for you.
- This food is completely disgusting
- Well sir, it does say eat dirt cheap outside.
- This coffee tastes like mud!
- Well it was ground only an hour ago?
- Why is this chop so tough?
- Its a karate chop, sir!
- I can't find any steak in this steak pie!
- Well you won't find any horse in the horse-radish either!
- I can't cut this steak!
- Hold on, sir, I'll get the knife sharpener.
- Here's a new steak sir. Would you like anything with it?
- A hammer and chisel if it's like the last one.
Not one mention of a fly in the soup? - I guess we will have to stick
- Diner to Waiter: There's a fly in my Soup
- - Damn flies, they'll eat anything, Sir!
- - Please don't fuss, Sir, everyone will want one!
- - Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!
- - Oh dear, the frog must have missed it!
- - Don't worry, sir. The goldfish will eat it in a minute.
- - We can serve it separately if you prefer.
- Diner to Waiter: "There's a dead fly in my Soup"
- - Its the heat that kills them, Sir.
- - Oh dear, it must have committed insecticide.
- Diner to Waiter: "What's this fly doing in my Soup"
- - Breaststroke!
- - Cadging a free meal!
- - Drowning?
- - Playing polo with the pea, sir!
- And Finally! Diner to Waiter: "How dare you spill soup
on my trousers"
- - I am sorry sir, but now you have soup in your fly!
- Diner to Waitress: "How long have you worked here?"
- "About 3 months, Sir."
- "Well it can't be you who took my order then!"
- Can I have coffee please, but no cream
- I am sorry Sir, but we are out of cream. Would you like it without
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