Country and Western
Jokes for the vain among us!
People have been pricking the skin about their "vain" friends
since time immemorial. So use these quick jokes to poke a little fun at
your more conceited acquaintances. (Note, jokes marker * have been
submitted by site visitors).
- He's (or she's) so vain that:
- He's planning to take his own hand in marriage!
- He joined the navy so the world could see him!
- His new book is entitled "Famous People Who Have Met Me"!
- Half an hour after he left the bathroom, the mirror is still warm!
- He has a mirror on the bathroom ceiling to watch himself gargle.
- He believes in love at first sight, since he saw himself in the
- "Tell me, Do you think I'm vain?"
- "No, why do you ask?"
- "Because people as good looking as I am usually are!"
- What vanity makes them say?
- "I am not vain, although I have every right to be!"
- "He's more interested in himself than me!"
- "I don't think I am particularly good looking. But then what's
my opinion against thousands of others?"
- He had a dreadful accident while walking, he was hit by a motorboat!
- He's undergone a religious conversion; he no longer believes he's
- He was so vain he had to see a shrink. Now after 3 months treatment
he's the nicest guy you could wish to meet
- The only time he doesn't look in the mirror is when he's backing into
a parking place.
- He's the only man I know who failed his driving test for looking in
the mirror too often.
- He's a self made man, who gives everyone else the recipe!
- A scientist was giving evidence at a trial. Asked to introduce
himself he said "I am the greatest Scientist of my generation!"
- "Surely, Sir you could give yourself a more modest introduction?",
asked the lawyer.
- "Sir, but I am under Oath!"
Think you can do better? Sure you can! Why not email your joke for
inclusion in our visitors section to us at
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