Odd Jokes - the Odder the Better

Farmer to young boy. "And what do you think you are doing fishing in my pond?"
"I'm not fishing, Mister, I am just teaching my worm to swim!"
Have you heard about the Cannibal who toasted his mother-in-law at his wedding?
What do hypochondriacs grow in the Garden
New Roses (neuroses)
Why are you putting starch in your scotch??
Because I like a stiff drink!!
What sort of fish can play a musical instrument?
A Piano Tuna
What do you call a Bear who has lost an ear?
Well my girl friend told me I was handsome!
That's because you fed her guide dog!
Why can't the bicycle stand up?
Because its two tyred
We left out the joke about quicksand!
Because it takes too long to sink in
Man to store keeper: I'd like some nails
Store keeper to man: How long do you want them
Man to store keeper: Oh I'd like to keep them

A man on a bicycle is rushing to catch the ferry. As he comes over the brow of the hill he sees the ferry is 20 yds from the dock. He decides to go for it and puts on a burst of speed down the hill. At the bottom he launches himself and the bike off a plank of wood. He flies through the air and lands right on the edge of the boat deck. "My goodness" he says to the deck hand "I only just made it"

"I shouldn't have bothered" says the deck hand "this ferry is coming in"

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