In a departure from our normal material we thought you would like this exposition of the differences
between the various political systems we have (from a site visitor)! More ideas please!
- FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
- PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone
else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you
- BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn
with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the
chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and
as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
- FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells
you the milk.
- PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share
- RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes
all the milk.
- DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
- MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
- SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed
farm animals in an apartment.
- PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
- REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets
- AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the
election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
- BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government
doesn't do anything.
- BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and
when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one,
milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting
for the missing cows.
- ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to
kill you and take the cows.
- CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
- HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap
with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping
five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman
Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows'
milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
- ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
- FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.
- TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed.
Milk is banned.
- POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the
phallo-centric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society)
bovines of non-specified gender.
- COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have some of this
- SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
- LAWFIRMISM: You have two cows. You force them to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised
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