Getting the sack, the bullet, the chop - it can be funny (if its not you!)

Good lines to sack someone with?
We don't know what we'll do without you, but we are going to try!
There's something extra in your pay packet this week - your cards!
We told everyone you are leaving because of illness. The truth is I'm sick of you.
Look, let me put your cards on the table.
Its not that you aren't a responsible worker. In fact, you've been responsible for more disasters than any one else in the place
Today I'm going to mix business with pleasure. You're fired!
I've got good news for you. You won't have to worry about being late for work ever again.
They told me to get some enthusiasm back into this unit. So I'm firing you with enthusiasm.
Tell me - how long have you been with us not counting tomorrow?
"I'm never going to work for that man again"
"Why, what did he say to you?"
"You're fired"
Have you heard how the government are going to reduce the length of the dole queues?
They are going to make people stand closer together!

The fire alarm system here is terrific. The minute someone gets fired the whole office knows about it!

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