An Accountant
Someone who tells you approximately how much you are worth and exactly what you owe him (or her)
A Bank
A place that will lend you money only when you can prove you don't need it!
A Banker
A Pawnbroker with a manicure!
A Bachelor
Someone who is footloose and fiancee free!
A Bigamist
Someone who makes a second mistake before correcting the first!
A Bigamist
Someone who has not loved wisely but two well!
A Credit Card
What you use when you discover money can't buy everything!
A Hypochondriac
Someone with an infinite capacity for faking pains
A Lawyer
Someone who stops someone else getting your money!
A Money Bag
A politician's briefcase!
An Ordinary Salesman
Someone who sells something you have to someone who wants it.
A Super Salesman
Someone who sells something you don't have to someone who doesn't want it.
An Acquaintance
Someone you know well enough to borrow from but not to lend to!
A Out-of-Work Priest
Someone who's holy unemployed!
A Consultant
Someone you call in at the last minute to share the blame!
A Consultant
Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
A Conservative
Someone who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.
A Bore
Someone who, when you ask him how he is, tells you!
A Theatre Critic
Someone who stones the first cast!
Gum Arabic
A language spoken by Arabs without teeth!

Having one wife two many!
Having one wife too many!
Where two rites make a wrong!

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