The Demon Drink
Why does an alcoholic have arthritis?
Because he's always stiff in one joint or another
the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?
drunk doesn't have to go to meetings!
the difference between rich man who drinks too much and a poor man who
drinks too much.
rich man's an alcoholic and the poor man's a drunkard!
- The drunk staggers into the AA meeting and is met by the moderator. "I
see you have come in to join us?"
- "No", came the reply, " I joined last year - I've just
come to resign"
He went out as fit as a fiddle and came home as tight as a drum.
do you get if you drink champagne out of ladies shoes?
- Barman "Try my new cocktail - its called Card Table"
- Drinker "Why?"
- Barman "Have one and your legs fold up under you"
- You think your bar or pub is a bad place to drink - here's a few
descriptions you can apply.
- The beer's so flat here they serve it on a plate
- The barmen here are all midgets - it makes the drinks look bigger!
- We call our bar (pub) Stradivarius - it's a vile inn!
Why do you drink so much?
I've donated my body to science and I'm preserving it for them.
My wife drives me to it!
- Well your lucky - I have to walk
I want to get into the record book of guinesses
I drink to forget!
- Forget what?
- I can't remember! Gosh it must be working!
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